When someone says something about you that you don't like, you quickly start thinking and looking for words to defend the opposite of what the other person said. This usually happens before you even hear the true meaning of their words and before you have time to consider whether their apparent criticism may have opened up a new perspective on things for you. First, you react to the emotions and thoughts that arise in you due to the subconscious pattern that you are not good enough, that your qualities do not suit someone, that you are not accepted as you are. There are many situations in life when someone simply expresses their opinion, and the other person reacts violently to it. Such scenes are common in partner and parental relationships. However, the essence of expressing views and opinions should be to understand each other. Everyone enters relationships from a different environment, with a different history, upbringing, karma and purpose of learning. Arguments about "who is right" are often fruitless and unnecessary. Advocacy is something completely different from expressing a view on situations or things. When you defend yourself, you most often use the words: “That’s not true”, “Yes, but”, “You don’t understand”, “I didn’t mean it that way”. At the same time, defending yourself is very often accompanied by a feeling of discomfort or even helplessness. Where defending yourself is not present, you manage to listen and hear the other person. From a state of calm subconsciousness, you accept their point of view and after that you can calmly express your own. Such expression does not bring expectations of dominance, but it brings understanding in communication and in cases where a final solution is needed, it brings good joint solutions. Therefore, first listen to what someone has said, without judging whether they are right or wrong. Then calmly express your view of the situation and in no way connect the conversation with your inner value. Your value does not depend on the opinions and assessments of other people.
